Ultimate Fantasy Draft – LB

We’ve all been looking forward to this day – linebacker.  The silver screen and magic box (??) love linebackers and so do we.  Holden made a move earlier in the week just to lock up the top pick in the round.  Who did he mortgage his future for?  Click below to find out.

Day 1 – Quarterbacks

Day 2 – Running backs

Day 3 – Wide receivers/Tight ends

Day 4 – Specialists

Day 5 – Offensive linemen

Day 6 – Defensive linemen


Linebackers (2)

Round 1

  1. Holden: Bobby Boucher – The Waterboy (TRADE)
  2. Kirk: Gerry Bertier – Remember the Titans
  3. Dan: Danny Bateman – The Replacements (TRADE)
  4. Matt: Luther “Shark” Lavay – Any Given Sunday

Round 2

  1. Dan: Alvin Mack – The Program
  2. Kirk: Becky “Icebox” O’Shea – Little Giants
  3. Holden: Eric Olczyk – Playmakers
  4. Matt: Thad Castle – Blue Mountain State

*Holden swaps first round pick in the DL round and first round pick in the LB round for Dan’s first round pick in the LB round and second round pick in the DL round



After making a move to the top of the round, I grabbed Bobby Boucher, the most dominant player in this entire draft.Bobby single-handedly carried the Mud Dogs to the Bourbon Bowl. Good luck scoring when The Waterboy is coming for you. In the 2nd round I grabbed another dominant player Eric Olczyk. He paralyzed a guy in the show Playmakers. Clearly I had the best round.


Nailed the LB position if I do say so myself.  First, Gerry Bertier.  In Remember the Titans, Bertier was the heart of the defense and really, the whole team.  Skill, leadership and competitiveness are all traits that are off the charts with Bertier (remember, attitude reflects leadership, captain).  If you don’t think he’s getting a “C” slapped on his chest, you’re nuts.  Coach Boone said it best–“You cannot replace a Gerry Bertier.”  As for Becky “Icebox” O’Shea, she’s another great team player.  Her goal-line stand against Spike Hammersmith?  Textbook.  It’s tough find grit like that in a young player.  You won’t find a better pair of LBs in the league.


I’m starting to notice my theme is chaos when drafting guys. Bateman is a total Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde type of player. He’ll hold the door for you off the field but he’ll break you in half when you step on the field. He’s also a decorated veteran. Pretty much the complete package. Mack is a very talented player, a la Ray Lewis back in the day. He’s smart and can tackle anything. Bring it on.


The entire draft, I’ve been fairly conservative.  I’ve scoured for talent, drafted for fit rather than need, and tried to build a team not just a roster.  Today my friends, we empty the clip (h/t Dez Bryant).  We go full-on crazy.  Luther “Shark” Lavay is a heat-seeking missile of drug-fueled rage on the field.  I’ll look to pair him with his favorite doctor, Harvey Mandrake, to keep the pain at bay, but I couldn’t pass up a pass-rushing threat like Shark with this pick.  But the fun doesn’t stop there kids, because Thad Castle  is actually rabid; he shoots up rabies before games to get an edge because “the NCAA tests for steroids”.  He’s a leader of men (to vices) and is a killer (nearly killed Golden-Arm) on the gridiron.  Trying to rein in the crazy will be tough with this pair, but the results could be nuclear.

Or they’ll be in prison before Week 1.  That’s also a strong possibility.

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